Moment of Reflection, Tears of Joy
What did I do today? I reflected on my life, thought about my new decisions and thought about my friends. My choices now will affect me for a lifetime, something I don't like to risk a lot but taking a blind chance and having faith you will pull through is a lot better than not.
What does that mean? Throughout my life I've avoided decisions that I thought could shut doors in my life, in a sense I think shutting more doors than I'd like to admit. That's going to change, I've made quite a few decisions that will affect my life recently and to be honest, it feels good. I will follow my decisions through till the end, no matter the hardships, afterall isn't that what life is? To make it through the tough parts and prove yourself strong.
Now I admit I ain't thinking everything out, I have general ideas and loose plans in place but that's the beauty of it. Something comes up or changes, I can modify my path to work with the change or around it, which ever is necessary. Besides, that's what one of my downfalls was, I tried to think every single thing out to the letter, it's impossible. I can only imagine the outcomes and weigh the outcomes against the trials I will have to go through to achieve success. I am tired of looking for the easiest road to succeed, it doesn't exist and I don't think it ever did. People who are looking for this road should come to their senses and realize if you're looking for the easiest road, you'll never do anything to drive down any road. You'll end up being just a tourist on the road of life, looking but never driving yourself.
Also, I read a comment in here from someone that brought me to tears, it was from the person who holds the key to my heart. He topped off my entire week with one long sentence, not including the closing. The closing though caught me quite off guard and made the crying worse. No, the crying was not out of depression or anything of the like, it was tears of pure joy and happiness. He thinks it didn't sound as good, but little does he know it stood above the rest in meaning to me. To hear such a thing from someone you love as no other, everything else pales in comparison.
He can have as long as he needs or even wants to insure his eyes unhindered, mind unclouded for I will wait for him until that moment.
Later days,
Matt
PS - For those wondering I have succeeded in taking the first few steps to nicotine freedom, I have not smoked today.
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