Is he hinting to something? 

Is he hinting to something?

Okay let me begin with telling you that I love Tai...Tai loves me but well...I am picking up subtle hints as to otherwise...maybe it's in my mind but well I figure I should at least type it...see if it makes sense in my head.

This weekend he was supposed to stay here, I had the whole day planned right...well he didn't I stayed there and then when he was supposed to stay Sunday night he didn't. I picked up on the vibe that he didn't want to spend time with me...I mean like truly one-on-one time...with or without sex I wouldn't of cared...I just wanted to be with him, you know what I mean?

Then there was the movie...we planned to see T3 right? Well we did...I told him fifty some odd times I'd pay for him to get in...he ended up asking his brother to pay which he has to pay back. Is my money not good enough to buy his ticket?

I know it must sound like I am like a lost puppy or something but I just wished he'd listen and follow up on what he told me. Like when he said he'd stay...*sigh*

I still love him...that's not going to change...maybe I am seeing things...seeing things that arn't there but in my head, would be a lot easier on my heart if it was. Still, there is the chance that it's not in my head...a chance I don't want to be true...

Later days,
Matt

BTW, I don't think he even reads this anymore...that or he never mentions it...*sigh* I hate not being able to talk about what's going on and what I feel...I try so hard to but I fail...like so many other things in my life...